SHAKE IT FOR ME BABY!

"Own it girl!" PRETTY WOMAN, 1990; directed by Gary Marshall.

"For some reason, people always call me Gary, or sometimes just Ray." Greg Relf, 1995

That major earthquake swarm happening west of Rt.111 at Brawley, California is a Divine interpretation of Tuesday night's RUMBLE IN THE JUNGLE brawl between PRESIDENT FOR LIFE DONALD TRUMP and the dark forces of Sodom and Egypt in REVELATION 16.

Think SWEET 16 meets LEGALLY BLOND: 2.

The one where Reese Witherspoon is convinced, yet again, that she is going to win the debate again in 2020. And her twin sister on their fake news network debate show on APPLE thinks the same way.

Can I get a second witness?

Gregory Scott Relf's 

TWO WITNESSES NEWSLETTER

GREG'S HOMEMADE APPLE PIE: For Christ's sake go easy on the cinnamon you guys at RED TWIG. I like cinnamon, but just not so much of it. And your shitty thin-downed watery coffee tastes too weak.

PS JEFF BEZOS: I am going to shake you down for every dime you got left in AP: 2 meets AP: 3.

Ever thought about getting into the newspaper business in Seattle?

Rhetorically speaking.

SHE'S A KNOCK OUT

 In the latter-days of ISAIAH EXPLAINED, the lost Israelites of Sodom and Egypt get destroyed by the valiant white Christians from the east who believe that Jesus saves.

Whoever said that the Catholics are not real Christians are the same fucks who claim that Mormons are not christians.

Think Alec Baldwin meets up with satan himself in the second round.

Michael Moore directing?

Shouting from the rooftops of Manhattan that Donald Trump is not a real American.

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TWO WITNESSES NEWSLETTER

PS JEFF BEZOS: I would have to agree with you on a certain third level that reformed fascism is for winners, and reformed socialism is for losers.

By the by, sorry about putting the hurt on you in Redding, California.

Whatever, let's do lunch sometime at the I-HOP in Lynnwood; on me of course; don't insult me.

PS ST PETER: Remember mother's fluffy whole wheat pancakes with beaten egg whites and sweet corn kernals from the 1970s VITA MIX 3600 cook book out of Cleveland, Ohio?

BUBBA BIDEN

In the Texas style BUBBA HO-TEP prophecy, a third of the SHADY REST residents who die from Covid-19 would have died anyway.

The other third would have died within about six months; at the average age of 78.

The rest would die from a bad heart or cancer, etc. just as long as they tested positive after the fact.

At least that is what the leading funeral trades are saying about why there has been no significant spike in their industry's profits this past year.

Meanwhile, all the cool kids in school have a better chance of drowning in the swimming pool than catching the bug, much less dying from it.

"You're all liars!.. It's gonna cost you $250,000!" Father Gerald William Relf, screaming at the nurses and nunes from his wheelchair at that Catholic rest home in Auburn, Washington.

 "They're all liars..." Donald Trump talking about the tabloids on the Howard Stern show in 1993.

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TWO WITNESSES NEWSLETTER 

DEAD AND GONE BY 2020

 His words, not mine.

All I know is what Micheal told me the other day about how,"Bi is finished in November."

Could be anything; he dies from the 666 politics of covidism, or he just kicks the bucket from natural causes like my shaddy roommate does in BUBBA HO-TEP with his boots on, Texas style; metaphorically speaking.

You tell me Mr Know-it-All at NBC.

Gregory Scott Relf's

TWO WITNESSES NEWSLETTER 

PS MS MAYOR: I AM is seriously thinking about running for mayor of Kent, Washington, King County; and making that crazy 84 year-old Larry David look alike, whose code name rhymes with liar, as my champagne and cocktails director.

You gotta start somewhere.

See every HBO cable guy episode of CURB YOUR ENTHUSIASM where Larry David is accusing every body else of being liars.

Sadley enough, he was about half right.

YOUR MOVE BABY

 "I'm surrounded by microbes." Larry David, 2009

In the Russian conspiracy chess game of life, it is high time for all of today's latter-day saint players to make their final moves in WHATEVER WORKS meets AUSTIN POWERS 2: THE SPY WHO SHAGGED ME.

Not to mention my own personal favorite 1260 days movie trailer for SWINGERS.

The one where the Steven Fresh look alike Vince Vaughn assures me that, "You're money baby."

Oh yeah, money talks, bullshit walks.

Meanwhile, I was lucky enough to be driving around funky town in that little borrowed car from my long lost girlfriend Ken Keisler; formerly from Brown's Point, Tacoma.

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PS AVRAHAM GILEADI: Looks like we're going to be neighbors for the next meanwhile.

Think DENNIS THE MENACE meets CABLE GUY.

PS CHRIS WOOD: Bill Murray thought that BROKEN FLOWERS would be his last little art film role. But it turned out that it was just the beginning of a whole new friendship with low budget filmmakers.

Union scale with full benefits of course.

HERE COMES THE JUDGE

 Check out the Shorty Long version on YOUTUBE that is a tribute to MOTOWN 1968. Back when America's real black heros were law abiding citizens with good manners.

Remember, this was back before Richard Nixon decided to make such a big deal out the CIVIL RIGHTS ACT OF 1964.

Even that same out-of-touch high society geek from California who thought that he could impose a 55 mph speed limit on I-5 etc.

"I fear that the 55 mph imposition was a breaking point for most law abiding Americans." William F Buckley Jr on CROSSFIRE, circa 1977.

Gregory Scott Relf's 

TWO WITNESSES NEWSLETTER2

PS BRUCE WILLIS: Just for good measure; God is moving me into a temporary 'safe house' location down in Kent, King County; off from the Willis Rd exit to the International SEA TAC airport located along Old Hwy.99.

Happening on Yom Kippur no less, if you get my drift.

PS JULIA ROBERTS: I have the secret sauce if you have the secret doe.

THE DAY OF JUDGEMENT IS UP ON US

 By Sunday morning, all of the Jews will be going bonkers on the talk shows over the new judge in town who looks like Woody Allen's conservative girlfriend in ANNIE HALL meets BANANAS.

The former one probably having a lifetime subscription to the conservative Catholic NATIONAL REVIEW.

Who knows, she may even order her pastrami on white bread with white mayonnaise.

Gregory Scott Relf's 

TWO WITNESSES NEWSLETTER

PS CHRIS WOOD: That famous 5 ton [virgin] balancing rock fell down along Rt.16 in Holliston, Mass during the high holy days of awe; just over from Woodland; south of the Rt. 126 Y.

In confirmation of my indie film BOONDOCK SAINTS posting about Mel Gibson.

PS KIT WINN: Michael just informed me that you are "suffering" from something very serious right now. And that's probably the reason why you haven't called me yet at: 801 310 8543.

Who knows, could be stage 4 brain cancer; or it could just be some girlfriend problem.

PS THE TIMES OF ISRAEL: Would it kill you cunts if you stopped Jewing me for at least a week or two?

 "Never bullshit a bullshitter." Donald Trump on the Howard Stern show, circa 1987.

PS ST PETER: I'm thinking we snap up CHANTERELLS first thing. Then we build something more original up from the ground later. 

That said, I have noticed that there are none of your typical 1970s style heathfood restaurants down in the Edmonds village at the present time.

PS JENNIFER ANISTON: That struggling to survive Greek restaurant up in funky town is hoping and praying that some blond haired blue eyed angel like you will come to their rescue.

PS NICOLAS CAGE: Almost seems impossible now that there is not even one good college town pizzeria in business right now down in the Edmonds bowl.

Think MYSTIC PIZZA meets DO THE RIGHT THING.

THE COLT 45 PROPHECY

 See every western cult movie trailer where the masked white hero is riding high in the saddle on a white stud horse and is packing two .45 pistols with their pearly white handles facing backwards.

Better to grab both of them with two crossed hands in case one suddenly gets attacked by a pack of niggers in BLAZING SADDLES meets HIGH ANXIETY.

Whatever, today's COLT .45 with a 40-round clip is still better rated than the new and improved 9mm UZI. Both of which are now manufactured by the Jewish firm of SIG/BROWN in Belgium anyway.

Talk about the superior white brainiac race of Germatic rocket scientists with big bald heads in THE THING meets THEM.

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TWO WITNESSES NEWSLETTER

PASSPORT TO PORTLAND

"It all began during the great heatwave."

PASSPORT TO PIMLICO is about when yours truly will become the King of England after I take over most of King County, Washington in the divided 50/50 states.

Talk about dividing and conquering the Kingdom of Florence, Italy in my first fully budgeted feature length movie with Sienna Miller.

Gus Van Sant directing me in the pulp fiction film adaptation of STILL LIFE WITH WOODPECKER; screenplay by Charlie Kaufman?

Co-starring Rose McGowan?

First come first serve.

Gregory Scott Relf's 

TWO WITNESSES NEWSLETTER

PS MS CARDIN: The first shall be last, and the last shall be first.

PS SIENNA MILLER: Would I ever ask you to do something special for me if there wasn't something extra in it for you; and your crazy sister too?

Talk about having money to burn and no wife to go window shopping with me on Rodeo Drive in Beverly Hills; not to mention Melrose Avenue, circa 1986.

PS KEN KEISLER: Yeah I know, after getting 15k for every monologue line that I wrote for the Johnny Carson show back in the late 80s, I was kind of full of myself by the time that we were selling satellite dishes at LEISURE WORLD in Buckley, Washington.

Plus I still had a great head of hair and great abs back then; and the body of a 29 year-old.

And no I never did fuck your girlfriend Susan Olson.

HANDS UP DON'T SHOOT

 The above communist propaganda slogan is about when the negro rioter will raise his hands up and surrender to the valiant Ephraimite Syrians from the east at ISAIAH EXPLAINED.

Kind of like my naked dark bronze skinned statue in Edmonds, with his two arms raised in DANIEL 12:7. 

Even the one who likes to stand in the river and fly-fish for trout right up to the October deer hunter season opener.

Gregory Scott Relf's 

TWO WITNESSES NEWSLETTER

PS BRUCE TROXELL: We can get Nicole Kidman as my lover who hides me from Detective Brennan in DARK PASSAGE if we need a name acter; after Florida of course.

Think KEY LARGO meets ISLANDS IN THE STREAMING meets FANTASY ISLAND; a.k.a. THE MAN WITH THE GOLDEN GUN.

PS KEIRA KNIGHTLEY: Your sister actress Carey Mulligan has agreed to be in my DRIFTWOOD PLAYERS production of MUCH ADO ABOUT NOTHING. Just for a cover piece of her making a movie with me up in funky town.

Neve Campbell directing? 

SHAMA LAMA DING DONG

 ANIMAL HOUSE's official movie trailer opens with the trumpeting stylings of PRESIDENT FOR LIFE DONALD TRUMP at the Greek White House; where the Greeks are all singing LOUIE LOUIE we gotta go now. And some white motorcycle dude crashes open that door with a no.45 MPH sign on it.

Which ends with the code 19 "death machine" that has now killed over 200,000 people around the average age of Joe Biden.

Whereas Dr Fauci looks like the suicidal Dr Kavorkian look alike corporate cult leader billionaire CEO in BLADE RUNNER, 2021.

Talk about the pot calling the kettle black.

Gregory Scott Relf's 

TWO WITNESSES NEWSLETTER

PS BRUCE TROXELL: Time to sharpen your producer pencil my friend and come up with a 21 day $120,000 budget for my 90 page writer, director, and actor debut in DARK PASSAGE. [San Juan Island county jail standing in for McNeil Island, if we can't get shooting slips?]

"I got the doe, if you got the blow." 52 PICKUP

PS WOODY HARRELSON: Are we tired of it yet? Call me at 801 310 8543 afterwards, you big handsome dick head.

Or as Michael would say, "after Florida".

PS LARRY DAVID: According to DANIEL 11:35, America needs to be more white, and less black. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

AMERICA'S ANIMAL HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES

 They shot the future 1980s white horse ANIMAL HOUSE prophecy at a white privilege brothers fraternity house up in Oregon because it represents today's [college student] riots in the streets of Portland.

The one where the pigs arrive in military style SWAT team tanks and take down the local yokal mayor in the end.

Think STAND BY ME meets EVEN COWGIRLS GET THE BLUES.

The latter also ending in a violent stand off riot scenario with the cops; guns a blazing,  yada yada.

Meanwhile back at the ranch, happy birthday Neve Campbell. Hope the SNL premier party goes all night long and into Sunday morning.

I'm up for it if you are. Call the baby sitter, pack your overnight bag.

"Get ready cause here I come..." 

Gregory Scott Relf's 

TWO WITNESSES NEWSLETTER

PS MEL GIBSON: Two nights ago in a vivid dream, my 1972 mormon missionary companion in ROMA told me that your third screenplay is a "home run". It probably having something to do with the home run ballpark director in MULHOLLAND DR.

By the by; when your beard caught on fire at that AREA CODE 310 candle shop, it was a [George] bush wildfire 2020 prophecy.

"By the by, you still have a great ass for a man of your age..." THE BOONDOCK SAINTS

PS MR PRESIDENT: Don't forget, you still get to take your pick for a fourth judge for THE SUPREMES' MOTOWN high court. It probably happening sometime during the 3 1/2 times after your WAYNES WORLD 2 sequel inauguration in January 2021; circa DANIEL 12.

PS ST PETER: Your 1970s job at a restaurant in Everett, Washington was a prophecy about the time when you would be the owner and operater of two very successful [gin joint] expatriot restaurants in Edmonds, Washington.

Daniel White as the bus boy dishwasher in BOOGIE NIGHTS?

PS DRUDGE: The lead in PASSPORT TO PIMLICO looks like you for a 2021 reason.

BAD BADER BADEST

 Ruth Bader Ginsberg died at the start of Rosh Hashanah's day of repentance within the hour they shut down the Seattle fun wheel on Pier 57. Because of that sinkhole next to it on warf 58 that represents Seattle's sinking economy from the deadly sideaffects of Covidism.

Meanwhile, both Biden and Trump were stumping in and around the Israelitish landmark of I-35 of the twin cities of Judah and Ephraim. As the nazi style lock down began in 35 longitude Islrael, complete with traffic checkpoints and internal passport "permission passes".

Oh well, it's a holiday.

Gregory Scott Relf's TWO WITNESSES NEWSLETTER

SHE GETS IT

 Oh boy, does she ever.

Like in the part in INLAND EMPIRE where she gets that huuuge 666 screwdriver on the star studded sidewalks of Hollywood Blvd. in LA.

Talk about dying from other things while testing positive for the REVELATION 19 happening in 2020.

"Screen testings are a waste of time and money." David Lynch, quoted on the set of TWIN PEAKS in Everett, Washingtion, 1990. 

"Either it works, or it doesn't." Harrison Ford, INDIANA JONES

Gregory Scott Relf's 

TWO WITNESSES NEWSLETTER

PS PRINCESS DIANA: The Hwy.101 NASDAQ did 10910 on 9.17 for the one in section 91 at www.2bc.info.

Also, check out that little 2007 paperback novel entitled CRIME SEEN at amazon.com.

Think PULP FICTION meets every pulp paper mill up in funky town.

IF IT SMELLS STINKY THAT'S NOT A GOOD THING

 Something stinks at SLN when they cast Jim Carrey in the role of Joe Biden for their season opener on Neve Campbell's October 3rd birthday.

"The Jews are back-stabbers!!" Adolf Hitler prophetically speaking in tongues about most of them voting for the very conservative haircut looking Alec Baldwin in 2020.

With friendly enemies like these, who needs any unfriendly political enemies?

Fuck all that get out the vote shit.

Because if you don't vote for Jesus this fall at the US postal office, you probably deserve to die from a slow death anyway; circa REVELATION 9 meets DANIEL 9 meets EZEKIEL 9, la la la.

Think DEATH TRAP meets DEATH BY MURDER.

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JOE BIDEN AND KAMALA HARRIS IN THE BACK OF A LIMO

 "You're playing with fire..." Says Naomi Watts to the older touchy feely Joe Biden in the audition scene for MULHOLLAD DR.

"Just like in the movies."

Then the two Hollywood gossip girls leave the scene saying it'll never happen; he's too old, his time is passed, yada yada.

The one where Laura Harring plays the role of the brunette in a blond wig, code named Kamala Harris; Senator from La La Land, California.

Gregory Scott Relf's 

TWO WITNESSES NEWSLETTER 

WILDFIRE UPDATE: David Lynch's WILD AT HEART opens with a close up shot of today's wildfires in TWIN PEAKS, California.

Oh yeah, "She gets it." Gov. Newsom talking about Ms Harris getting the reason for climate change. Don't forget to mention how fracking for natural gas cow farts causes earthquakes too Mr Governor.

PS NANCY PELOSI: "I want my money, and I want it now!" Says Glenn Beck to the TRUMP hotel casino manager in LEPRECHAUN 3.

BABE ALERT!!

 That stormy cat-2 of the two witnesses named Sally came ashore at 4:45 am for the administration of no.45. Happening on the 1260 days anniversary of Judah because Donald Trump is a tall blond Jewish man with blue eyes.

Think MIDNIGHT COWBOY meets EVEN COWGIRLS GET THE BLUES meets MUSTANG SALLY.

Hence the timing of his historic Middle East peace deal called THE ABRAHAM ACCORDS.

Rhymes with Avraham Gileadi of course in far out Kent, Washington, King County.

Can't wait for his upcoming little thin book called DANIEL EXPLAINED.

Gregory Scott Relf's 

TWO WITNESSES NEWSLETTER

PS MR PRESIDENT: Stormy Sally hit shore in an area where 90% of the white folks vote for any candidate with an 'R' beside his [male] name.

PS JAMES CARVILLE: Just ask your long suffering and politically abused wife; No.45 is going to be relected in 2020. And you know why.

PS ST PETER: Just as soon as we get Washington State's small town village idiot off our back, we'll convert Edomonds, Washington into a free thinking open-minded Scandinavian style country... again.

Based upon science and data of course of course.

"Just the facts, ma'am." Says Officer Joe Friday to the hysterical old lady in DRAGNET.

OR:

"Coming!" Says Frankie two times in THE ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW church lady prophecy.

Guess who is going to win the NOBEL PRIZE FOR SCIENCE this time around?

I AM THE GREATEST

 You have to give Cashish Clay points for playing the role of a gentleman negro man child who spoke truth to power back in the day.

Yeah I know, "Donald Trump has the face of a big baby!" Cher, 2015

Or as Jesus would say:

"From the mouthes of babes."

Sadly, most of today's Jews still don't believe in Jesus.

Whereas, "The testimony of Christ is the spirit of prophecy." REV.19

Gregory Scott Relf's

 TWO WITNESSES NEWSLETTER

PS BEN SHAPIRO: You have one of those classic fast talking voices of a 1940s era radio man. Ever thought about doing some nastolgic late night RADIO DAYS style series on the side?

Union scale with benefits of course.

PS CHER: Have you looked at yourself in the mirror lately?

PS MR GOVERNOR: By this Christmas season, funky town is going to look a PG Rated Swedish nudist colony, spiritually speaking.

"The problem with masks is they get really stinky after a couple days."  letters to THE STRANGER.

THIS IS THE ALTERNATIVE ENDING TO AN IRRATIONAL MAN IN 2020

"Life is stupid and contagious." NIRVANA

That AMAZON lady with a brown box, who suddenly fell to her death in a Boston college area elevator shaft, represented the other way of looking at the ending to an IRRATIONAL MAN; back in the year 2015.

The one where she finally wakes up and realizes "what's happening baby" in the above and below Woody Allen trailer.

Note the rocky San Juan Islands look alike settings. The grungy northwest rock band costuming.

Gregory Scott Relf's 

IRRATIONAL TWO WITNESSES NEWSLETTER

 ALTERNATIVE CURES: All the people who are waiting for the god of 666 science to cure their fears of dying with a needle in the butt are the same little pricks in DANIEL 11:38 meets REVELATION 9.

PS HOWARD SCHULTZ: "I made you, and I can break you." Says Frankie to Rocky in THE ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW.

For example, Johnny Depp has already made over $100,000,000 in his young life; yet now he can barely afford to pay his monthy mortage.

PS DANIEL WHITE: Johnny Depp may have his money management spending issues; but he still has a solid reputation for showing up on set every morning with his lines memorized.

PS SANDY: This morning at 7:17 am I dreamed that you actually have never exactly said no to me in certain terms.

"Always give a guy a back doorway out." Donald Trump, THE ART OF THE DEAL

Gonna have to think about this one; for at least the next two weeks.

"I should have been making movies with Sandra Bullock for my entire career." Hugh Grant

PS MR GOVERNOR: Better get ready; October 9 is the day when all of your stupid masks will come flying off, politically speaking.

THIS IS REVELATION 19

 My two edged sword in REV.19 comes out when the US CONSTITUTION is hanging by a thread in the WHITE HORSE PROPHECY.

Whereas King Arthur is usually riding on a white horse in every HAMMER PRODUCTION film allegory made about him.

Ergo, "Gisele Bunchen has the face of a horse!" PEREZ, 2000

"If wishes were horses, I'd be a betting man." Jerry Lewis, Las Vegas, Nevada, 1968.

Gregory Scott Relf's 

TWO WITNESSES NEWSLETTER 

FISHING TIPS: That small 2.7 near Index, Washington was a wonderful comfirmation and sign about my fall flyfishing tradition of going out for small trout in small creeks.

Right up onto the start of deer hunting season in late October.

PS HOWARD SCHULTZ: Dont get me wrong now; I like wrap music. I just don't like so much of it.

For Jesus sake, give a guy a break.

PS CHAD: All this happened for a reason.

"On my God!.. I think I'm going to die!" STUDIO 54

ONLY MAD DOGS AND ENGLISHMEN

 I only go fly fishing in the fall because I like to be left alone sometimes with my own private Idaho thoughts.

Plus the native freckled 9" trout are a lot younger and pretty, i.e. more tender and tasty.

And a lot more plentiful.

Nothing worse than following behind some other guy who has scared all the fish away anyway.

Gregory Scott Relf's 

TWO WITNESSES NEWSLETTER 

PS SPICE GIRLS: The early bird gets the worm.

PS MR PRESIDENT: At 7:46 am this morning, Michael advised me to give you the secret service's "wolf whistle" alert-code for the next "two days", particularly Tuesday.

"Babe alert!" WAYNE'S WORLD 2

PS HOWARD SCHULTZ: Do you even believe in God? 

THIS IS SPINAL TAP 1984

 "This piece is called LICK MY LOVE PUMP."

One can just see the excruciating pain on Rob Rheiner's face whenever he comments about the inevitable 2020 election defeat of Joe Biden.

Especially the scene shot at McCord Air Force base in Tacoma where the bitch gets sunk with his own private parts pink vagina torpedo.

Confirmed years later when that black man grabbed the white cop's pistol and shot 4 of them in the head at STARBUCKS.

Where the Seattle based coffee chain is now playing so much offensive and discusting loud rap music that it makes you want to get up and go over to 711 for your daily cup of Joe; based out of in Dallas, Texas.

Always fresh ground and brewed every morning at half the price, circa EZEKIEL 7:7.

At half the price.

Gregory Scott Relf's 

TWO WITNESSES NEWSLETTER 

COAST TO COAST LISTENER NOTES: Coming up early next month, an exclusive "October surprise" 60 minutes live election debate on a Saturday night between Stephen King and Daniel Edmonds Aykroyd; no holds barred.

PS PETER WOLF: You and Stephen King share the same September 21 birthday for a strange reason.

"My thoughts are not your thoughts." yada yada.

HARD ONS HAPPEN FOR A REASON.

Hey guys, ever woken up in the morning with an amazing 29ish hard on after having a hard core dream about fucking the daylights out of some old flame that you haven't seen since your college years?

Me too...

"There is no such thing as free love." Says the Pope of ROMA in 1973.

"When you have sex with someone, your body is making a promise!" Cameron Diaz in VANILLA SKY

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TWO WITNESSES NEWSLETTER 

PS MEL GIBSON: When you have those dreams about moving to Europe, it's a symbolic message from the Father of Christ about moving on up to RICK STEVES EUROPE in tax free Edmonds, Washington.

Think Monte Carlo meets San Marco meets Malta.

PS OPRAH WINFREY: The prophetic 1981 movie trailer for WHITE DOG is about today's black dogs who are mostly white dogs.

Think 1984 meets ANIMAL FARM; for when my French ex-wife in Hillsboro, Washington County, Oregon would be so proud of her two white half breed wolf dogs that she kept inside of a fenced kenal that looked like a Nazi concentration worker party camp.

Hope I didn't leave anything out.

IT'S ALL IN THE WRIST

Joe Biden is... "about to be knocked into the gutter." because he looks too much like the old polite establishment guy in the 2003 BLACKBALL prophecy.

And all of his rich polite society types at 666.com etc. are trying to blackball his rude outsider competitor who has suddenly come to crash the party like a thief in the night.

Works for me. How about you Mr Producer?

Moving on to the next set up people!

Gregory Scott Relf's

 TWO WITNESSES NEWSLETTER 

PS DANIEL WHITE: If playing the deck hand intern in CAPTAIN RON meets AMAZON doesn't inspire you; how about getting some kiss-ass job as your local golf course caddie boy in preperation of my thoughts about a 2021 reincarnation series based upon the [DANIEL 11] CADDYSHACK prophesies?

For example, right after Daniel Day-Lewis got his award winning role in MY LEFT FOOT. He got a temporary job at SEARS selling wing-tip shoes to fancy pants Jewish lawyers; just to get a feel for the character.

PS CHAD: We need to talk.

THE GREATEST MOTHER FUCKER IN THE WORLD

 YOU ONLY LIVE TWICE is the 007 one wherein the antihero looks exactly like my bald stepfather who also had a marred face back in 1967.

"There needs be opposition in all things." 

Whereas it took Mel Gibson three tries to finally get the part where Jesus appears to the lost tribes of Israel in 3 NEPHI 20.

Better late than never.

"All is well that ends well." Monique Pierson, 1979

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TWO WITNESSES NEWSLETTER 

PS MR GOVERNOR: Climate change is caused by the twin evils of sodomy and socialism at ISAIAH EXPLAINED; located just north of Bonney Lake, Washington in Kent, King County.

"Too much too soon.." BLACKBALL, 2003

"Fuck you!.. Mother fucker!!" BLACKBALL, 2003

"Burn it down baby!" BLACKBALL, 2003

Easy come, easy go.

I AM IS THE POPE OF GREENWICH VILLAGE

"The summer wind came blow'n in from across the sea..." Frankie Blue Eyes.

When Edmonds, Washingtion becomes a little sovereign foreign state within a state, about the size of the 1260 year-old Vatican in ROMA, you will see the meaning of the nail looking 'I' scar on my 666 forehead in WITHNAIL AND I.

As just confirmed by the news that Mel Gibson has come out with his final third draft for THE PASSIONATE CHRIST: 2.

Talk about nailing it. Even if you have a prostate the size of an Idaho potato.

"Right now, I'm the Pope of this village."

The role of Paulie played by my old partner in crime Paul Nestor, circa 1984.

Gregory Scott Relf's 

TWO WITNESSES NEWSLETTER 

PS ST PETER: Hang in there bro. The best is yet to come.

Same thing goes for you too Jeffrey Relf.

You little prick.

PS MEL GIBSON: Don't worry about getting a real estate appraisal from some Jewish aitheist reality tv property lady. Who probably is going too soft on the price for her communist red Chinese capitalist investors anyway.

Just sit down and figure out a reasonable prize for it with an extra 10% in it for Jesus.

QUOTE THE RAVEN EVERMORE

 "Don't look so scared." Says yours truly to my future fatalistic wife Sienna Miller in the 1994 movie trailer for WOLF.

"He's Jack Nicholson!" Said Laura Palmer when some stupid girl reporter asked her why she was fucking such an older father figure like me in 1996.

"Do you believe in God?" Asks Cameron Diaz of Tom Cruz in VANILLA SKY.

Gregory Scott Relf's 

TWO WITNESSES NEWSLETTER 

PS MEL GIBSON: I got a cash buyer for your little white church in Malibu who is offering 10% above your asking price.

Rhymes with Donald Trump Jr.

Oh yeah, "Everybody with a dime in their pocket wants to get into the movie business."  Howard Hughes, 1946.

"Many are called, but few are chosen..."

THE KING OF BRITISH COLUMBIA

 I know, sounds like the humiliating title of some late 1980s, early 1990s Woody Allen [return-to-comedy] period; but you gotta start over somewhere when every place else on earth is nowhere.

Don't laugh, there are probably more family oriented summer camp nudist colonies on Vancouver Island than there are in all of California; including Palm Springs

Meanwhile back at my private dude ranch in Montana...

Where the girls are pretty, and the horses are handsome.

Gregory Scott Relf's 

TWO WITNESSES NEWSLETTER 

PS SANDY: I'll take my mask off if you take your mask off; you go first.

PS BRUCE WILLIS: Last night I dreamed that you wanted to make THE OLDER LEBOWSKI in a high powered speed boat instead of an old classic restored sailboat. 

Whatever floats your boat baby. I'm not exactly in any position to start arguing over rather minor screenplay rewrite ideas from older exectutive producers who still want to act.

PS DANIEL WHITE: I'm thinking we start you out as the swabie deckhand greenie in the CAPTAIN RON trailer. For when today's Cuban revolutionaries would be pirating all of those sailboats on Lake Union, Seattle.

Think SLEEPLESS IN SEATTLE meets SON OF LEBOWSKI. 

Full union scale with benefits of course.

I CAN'T WAIT TO FUCK TOM BRADY'S WIFE

 Talk about role playing the backup quarterback loser in HEAVEN CAN WAIT.

Whereas Warren Beatty was the most famous backdoor [second story] man in Hollywood during the 70s and 80s, and well into the mid 90s.

Damn straight I AM comes like a thief in the night.

And no, I have never had any premature ejaculation issues; quite the contrary.

Ladies first has always been my policy.

Gregory Scott Relf's 

TWO WITNESSES NEWSLETTER 

PS LITTLE CAESARS PIZZA: With a brand name like that, you guys should be the first national chain to put a big rude sign in your window that says, NO MASKS ALLOWED.

Don't doubt me on this one. I AM was the original one who put STARBUCKS on the map going way back to the 1990s with my frozen frappucino VITA MIX machine recipes.

"And the rest is HIS story." GREASE 2

PS KIT WINN: Ever been caught in bed fucking another man's wife? In Italy and Greece they call it "justified homicide".

PRESIDENT FOR LIFE, BITCH

 "It's the sequel you knew was coming." WAYNES WORLD 2, the original 1993 movie trailer.

That still happens in the Republican suburb stronghold of Aurora,  Illinois.

Rhymes with Aurora Hwy. along old Hwy.99 up north in Lynnwood, Washington.

Schwing!

Featuring those same two dudes of Judah and Ephraim and their two drum sticks.

Throw in a nostalgia cameo performance by THE VILLAGE PEOPLE and how can you miss?

"Let the bitches bitch, that's what they do." An older and wiser Jack Nicholson quoted on the set of WOLF, 1993.

Gregory Scott Relf's 

TWO WITNESSES NEWSLETTER 

PS NANCY: Not giving a measly $1200 to every old senile FDR Reagan Democrat retiree because EL PRESIDENTE FOR LIFE DONALDO refuses to give the local communist revolutionaries another trillion dollars in foreign aid sounds like something straight out of a Woody Allen BANANAS prophecy.

Hope I didn't leave anything out.

PS MR PRIME [AMAZON] MINISTER: You're driving all of us to church on the wrong side of the road.

Whereas, the little English village people are starting to grow weary of getting Jewed every single day, 24/7/12.

Stop making a big 666 mountain out of a little 666 mole hill.

Think THE INVISIBLE MAN with a mask on his face finally finds the cure to AN AMERICAN WEREWOLF IN LONDON meets DELIVERANCE.

Not to mention the wisdom of King Solo/man.

CELL PHONE CALL FROM JESUS

 Those spooky prison cell shoots in LOST HIGHWAY were about the devil answering Sandy's cell phone at home in the year 2020.

"It's non of you're business!" Sandy used to always say, to her nosey mother who was always asking her who was calling her on her cell phone.

Well now, it's everybody's business, no thanks to her type.

"It's a whole new world [order] now..." Olympia, Washington Governor Jay Inslee; talking through a mask on his face.

Meanwhile, 26,000 19ish college coeds have tested positive so far this fall. Yet not a single one of them has needed to be hospitalized.

Probably most of them are on the pill anyway.

Gregory Scott Relf's 

TWO WITNESSES NEWSLETTER

PS KIT WINN: Around 24 hours ago I had a dream about me telling you that it takes a minute or two for one's eyes to adjust to the dark if you walk into a movie theater late; after the lights have been turned off and the trailers are just starting.

"I can't go into a movie if it's already started!" Woody Allen to Annie Hall in 1976.

"I starting listening to Rush Limbaugh because he was saying the same things that I was thinking."

WOODY ALLEN WRITING, DIRECTING AND EDITING THE LAST CUT OF HIS FIRST DRAFT?

 "Doing things a little differently." at cloudmakerpictures.com

For example, "It is what it is..." in BOOGIE NIGHTS meets STUDIO 54 in both of their prophetic movie theater trailers.

Whereas, Newman dumped 9 bags of vote-in ballets on Allen Street because the location is just north of where they shot those 9 seasons of SEIGNFELD inside stage 9 at NBC, that ended in 98.

Lots of Republican voters were up that way towards the 7 hills of Pasadena, California.

When they were still publishing THE PLAIN TRUTH magazine for free and giving it away on the streets of Westwood, LA.

See every budget rental truck movie that Woody Allen ever made back in the 70s.

Gregory Scott Relf's 

TWO WITNESSES NEWSLETTER 

PS KIT WINN: I know what you mean, "I can go all night long and never stop... Sometimes my girlfriends can't even keep up with me."

That said, we're not supposed to fuck one of our wives until Michael says, "Camera, sound, action!"

PS SANDY: The code 19 virus is more of a spiritual sickness than a physical disease.

I come to heal the sick, not the healthy.

PS ROB RHEINER: Rumor has it, Donald Trump Jr. is going to be Mike Pence's running mate in 2024.

The apple never falls that far from the tree.

ISRAEL'S OWN PRIVATE JEWISH PROBLEM

 "The Jews are a disease that must be stamped out!" Adolf Hitler, 1939

Israel's new lockdown represents every talk that Hitler ever made about the Jews being a plague upon society. And therefore they needed to be rounded up and locked down in government labor party type worker camps.

Oh well, whatever works.

Jesus always fucks those the most who he loves the most.

Now that we know that the highly symbolic code 19 virus is ten times less dangerous than all of those liberal Jewish Democrat Party doctors told us just last spring.

Talk about it being spring time for Hitler and Germany again. Where the native tongue is about 40% high shift Hebrew dialectic materialism.

"Calling Dr. Freud." AUSTIN POWERS: INTERNATIONALIST MAN OF MYSTERY

Gregory Scott Relf's

TWO WITNESSES NEWSLETTER 

PS KIT WINN: The first time that I ever saw Austin Powers in his 1969 black leather Italian velcro strap boots, I knew that he was you.

Meanwhile, yours truly was still in my mormon missionary suit and tie period, as depicted in Fellini's ROMA, circa 1972.

PS SANDY: "Call me, I'm at your home right now." LOST HIGHWAY

I'm your backdoor man.

PS GISELE BUNDCHEN: There is something seriously wrong with a 40 year-old father of two who still wants to play around with the [devil may care] BLM league this fall.

One would think that he has better things to do with his time left in life.

YOU CAN CALL ME SANDY ANY TIME YOU WANT

 In the wee hours of Labor Day I had another confusing dream about my future wife Sandra Bullock. So when I got up later I went straight up to the STARBUCKS location by the Hwy.99 crossroads in Lynnwood, Washington.

Then right after I sat down outside with my cup of Joe, some 27ish mother in a limestone 4-wheeler pulled out with a warning sign on her rear window that said, "A WITCH AND HER LITTLE [adopted] MONSTER ON BOARD." As another car drove by bearing white and black Texas plates.

No wonder I never got married again, after my French wife suddenly died on me for no explicable reason in LAST TANGO IN PARIS.

Fool me once, fool me twice...

Gregory Scott Relf's 

TWO WITNESSES NEWSLETTER

GREG'S FRIED TROUT: Melt down a $2 pound of cheap priced American style butter; then draw from the salty vegetable oil bottom residue from it for your skinless pour over with a few drops of almond extract and a dash of fresh chopped basil.

Goes well with a fresh bag of fried frozen garlic tater tots and a tossed green salad vingegrette.

PS WOODY ALLEN: Your money is worth nothing in this little funky western town. Said the bartender to the mad liberal writer at the TRUMP resort hotel ball room bar in THE SHINING.

THE SUDDEN DEATH OVERTIME OF BLACK LIVES MATTER

 "I come like a thief in the night." Howard Stern, 1993

Screw Black Lives Matter; or "all lives matter" for that matter.

"You should get cancer and die!" Says the old Jewish lady to THE KING OF COMEDY; him talking on a sidewalk pay phone in midtown Manhattan.

[Johnny Carson was more than half Jew.]

Therefore, the only thing that matters right now is that the Jews get their lives together.

Them being the ones who are fucking everything up right now.

Let's not kid ourselves here. The Jews are obviously the superior race who have white skin and blue eyes and the most fair looks.

Plus "The Jews are great talkers!.." Adolf Hitler, 1932.

Gregory Scott Relf's 

TWO WITNESSES NEWSLETTER 

HEAVEN CAN WAIT

 "Darling, listen to me. There is nothing to be frightened of."

Because in the above 1978 movie trailer it talks about the soon to be physical transfiguration backup to one's own failed and miserably shameful short life.

Talk about getting a second chance in life.

Think Chance Gardener hooks up by chance with an older Jennifer Aniston in BEING THERE meets LOGAN'S RUN.

Oh yeah, I like to watch old movies on tv.

Gregory Scott Relf's 

TWO WITNESSES NEWSLETTER

PS KEN KEISLER: Humphrey Bogart was one of those shorter balding actors who was not all that handsom; yet all the babes in Hollywood were crazy about him.

It's time now for you to play out your prophetic "great escape" role in DARK PASSAGE.

Always buy low and sell out high, and get out while the getting is good.

Never be the first, and never be the last.

"Last one in is a rotten egg!" EATING RAOUL

PS NICOLE KIDMAN: Ever heard of something called "a gold Cadillac"?

Basically, it's about a guy who can say or do anything, yet he always wins and never loses.

Kind of like that classic 70s soul sound song by THE SPINNERS called THE RUBBERBAND MAN.

"Hey ya'll prepare yourself for the rubberband man..." circa 2020

"Only in America..." John Lennon, 1979

PS MATT DRUDGE: The same thing that suddenly happened to Glenn Beck is now suddenly happening to you.

You had your chance. Now I get my chance.

PS DAN SAVAGE: I never forget the kind offer of a stranger.

GOVERNOR NEWMAN!

 "You're a passivist, you're an animal!" A MIDSUMMER NIGHT'S SEX COMEY, July 16, 1982

Just imagine how many lives you could save by mandating that the new speed limit on I-5 will be 45 until further notice.

What? You don't care about all of those little old ladies who have to drive their older cars out to those lower priced discount stores; most of which are located outside of town along the main freeways?

Fucking cold hearted bastard.

"I guess my critics don't care if their grandmother dies." Jay Inslee, Olympia, Washington.

Gregory Scott Relf's 

TWO WITNESSES NEWSLETTER 

PS WOODY ALLEN: Last night in A MIDSUMMER NIGHT'S SEX COMEDY dream, my midnight cowboy guardian angel named Michael told me that "Whatever Woody Allen wants, Woody Allen gets."

NEWMAN!

 "Far out man." THE OTHER LEBOWSKI

The best look alike shot out there by far of Newman is in that piece by Charlie Spiering at BREITBART.

Rhymes with newsman and all things spiering out of control don't it.

Not to mention all of those wildfires out west suddenly escalating out of control in the Coen brothers' wild west cowboy trailer for THE BALLAD OF BUSTER SCRUGGS.

[B.S. for short]

And dont forget the one about Jerry Seignfeld discovering that Newman had stashed thousands of undelivered [upper east side] mail in voter ballets down in his upper west side Jewish ghetto basement storage unit.

Gregory Scott Relf's 

TWO WITNESSES NEWSLETTER 

PS KEN KEISLER: Looking like it's high time for you to find yourself a new girlfriend.

Think SHAMPOO meets HEAVEN CAN WAIT.

No kidding man. I am kind of looking to do the same thing myself these days.

Talk about a guy having a spare tire in the back of his old white 1970s DODGE RAM pickup just in case he gets a blowout.

PS PAUL: Let's get one thing straight here. The only true church on the earth is the mormon church. Everything else is sloppy seconds.

EDUCATING RITA

 "I want to look like that."

The prophetic movie trailer for this one being about when all of the hair salons in England would be forced to shut down by order of the new coat-and-tie Nazis.

For when God only knows why in AN EDUCATION meets GREGORY'S TWO GIRLS in Woody Allen's inspired prophecy called AN IRRATIONAL MAN.

September being my own favorite month for flyfishing the Upper Stilly with a size 14 ROYAL COACHMAN tied by Ken Mcleod.

Not to mention Jordan Creek.

Gregory Scott Relf's 

TWO WITNESSES NEWSLETTER 

PS KIT WINN: Last night I dreamed that you finally get to go back home on the first day of this fall. 

"We need to get him off the street." Uncle Les, 1970.

A JEWISH REPORTER WALKS INTO AN IRISH CATHOLIC BAR

 What a sick joke.

That chubby Jewish reporter who looked like the conniving US post office guy in SEINFELD, asked Joe Biden about Donald Trump's lost soul; referring to the proverbial poison pen letter written by some other sneaky Jew at THE ATLANTIC MONTHLY.

Ironically, it was the treasonous backstabbing Jew media in America that made suckers out of the patriotic southern white christian GI JOE men fighting in South Viet Nam.

Oh yeah, we fuck you long time.

"The Jews love a secret!" Adolf Hit/ler 1929.

No wonder that my secret sex cult ratings are greater than CNN and MSNBC put together. And I AM is only a one man show.

Gregory Scott Relf's 

TWO WITNESSES NEWSLETTER 

JUST TODAY'S AVERAGE NOWHERE JOE AMERICAN

 "I'm like nowhere man..." BUCKET OF BLOOD.

The mindless white man with blue eyes, Joe Biden, is nowhere to be seen in confirmation of the BEATLES' prophetic 1968 values song called NOWHERE MAN.

Don't laugh, even Bernie Sanders is still saying that Biden's phoney catholic adaptation of his socialism is "nowhere".

Gregory Scott Relf's 

TWO WITNESSES NEWSLETTER 

PS ATLANTIC MONTHLY: The valiant Ephraimite who kicks the Jews' but at ISAIAH EXPLAINED comes from the east coast.

PS BARACK OBAMA: According to the Bible, you're gonna to step in and take over things after 2021.

THE COEN BROTHERS DIRECTING?

 "Things have a way of escalating out here in the west." THE BALLARD OF BUSTER SCRUGGS

Spoken by the look alike shooter of that christian Patriot Prayer man called Aaron 'Jay' Danielson in Portland, Oregan. 

Who the marshalls finally caught up with in Lacey, Washington; south of Devil's Head Point in south funky town.

His own German name being Michael Rei/noehl.

Note the familiar big nose in this case.

That said, "Be very carefull!.. Not all of the Jews have a big nose!" Adolf Hitler, 1933

Gregory Scott Relf's 

TWO WITNESSES NEWSLETTER 

PS ERIC JADERHOLM: Worrying about you at 11:23 pm Thursday night, Michael said, "Don't worry about it."

PS MR GOVERNOR: That piece about Dr. Scott Atlas at www.wnd.com is about the Washington State atlas that shows a huuuge great white shark heading towards the Olympia bedroom community of Lacey.

PS PAUL NESTOR: I'm thinking about hooking you up with Woody Norris and giving you two guys a couple of bucks to work with and see what happens. Then we'll go from there.

LABOR DAY WEEKEND AT BERNIES

 Back on Charlize Theron's birthday at 10:29 pm, Michael said that I should go down to funky town sometime after Labor Day and start looking around for my future OCTOPUSSY shag pad.

Could be I'm supposed to buy out one of those little white churches there and just convert the sanctuary into my own private island sex palace for now.

Talk about having a time share condo situation in the British [Columbia] Virgin Islands.

Gregory Scott Relf's 

TWO WITNESSES NEWSLETTER 

PS ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER: Good on you man. Getting out the lazy 27% black conservative vote in 2020 is the most important thing right now.

"Freedom first... then we go from there." Mark Levin

TODAY IS ALREADY THURSDAY IN LONDON

 America's most devout Catholic phoney Joe Biden will be visiting the Fatima Shrine today; in confirmation of Mother Mary giving me a heads up about that the other Wednesday

The one where the two dudes in WAYNES' WORLD have a popular basement video show, with no live audience. And then they win two free tickets to some Howard Stern look alike rock concert up in Milwauki, Wisconsin.

Party on dude!!

Cue the two drum sticks of Judah and Ephraim.

Gregory Scott Relf's 

TWO WITNESSES NEWSLETTER 

PS MEL GIBSON: You're gonna need to fork out a little seed money if you want my friends to pay the full asking price for your prophetic Malibu, California temple shrine in HARPER.

The one where Jennifer Anniston gets her sexy nipples burned with a lit cigarette butt.

Oh yeah, "I've never made a creative decision in my life without having a cigarette in my hand."

PS ERIC JADERHOLME: Time heals all wounds.

"Our troubles are over." SON OF LEBOWSKI 

NOTHING IS HAPPENING

 Talking about what is not happening for Joe Biden er all this fall.

I'm thinking maybe RICK STEVES EUROPE features a mushroom hunting tourist video tv series this fall in maskless Sweden; Woody Allen directing?

Talk about making sure that all of the [frolicking in the forest] nudist scenes are organic to the story.

Just in time for the relection of FUCKING PRESIDENT FOR LIFE DONALD TRUMP.

After all, Steves look alike figure Glenn Beck just confessed to his dwindling radio audience that he got it all wrong about no.45 the last time around.

Gregory Scott Relf's 

TWO WITNESSES NEWSLETTER

BIBLE CAMP NOTES: Those two angels who visited Lot at Sodom and Gomorrah were a prophetic representation of the two witness in the latter day Sodom and Egypt in REVELATION 11.

PS MR PRESIDENT: Dont worry about the post office stealing the election from you in 2020. Now that your white christian divorced man base is fit to be tied and ready to "go postal" on all of those niggers, queers and Jews way out in Federal Way, Washington.

THE CRYING GAME

"Funny the way things go... never the way you expected."

 NO.45 got around the same number of votes in 2016 as the surprise dollar box office take for THE CRYING GAME... counting up and until and throughout the 1260 days countdown of the two witnesses starting on January, 20, 1993.

Talk about late run theater box office for 2 bucks a ticket in Provo, Utah.

Better late than never.

Think CRY BABY meets HAIRSPRAY.

Gregory Scott Relf's 

TWO WITNESSES NEWSLETTER 

PS JOHN WATERS: Never say never ever again.

PS SANDRA BULLOCK: Michael recently made fun of me by impersonating your own snotty high pitched nasal voice. He asking me when was the last time I had a romantic dream about one of my so called wives.

Actually, it was the one last month about me having a threeway with Elizabeth Hurley and Naomi Watts in the back seat of that classic evergreen JAGUAR limo in SOME KIND OF WONDERFUL.

PS BILL GATES: I'm going to need you to pull a few strings to get my housemate Daniel White a good paying job as some video game tester in your research and development department. 

That way nobody gets hurt on my side.

You big dick.

PS MEL GIBSON: By buying out that little white church up in Edmonds, Washington, you will get the attention of the town's dime billionaire villagers who are looking for the next big thing.

That being your temple mount project down in Malibu of course.

Easy money baby.

"It takes money to make money." Jesus Christ, 1999.

PS PETER RELF: Ever heard of a thing called the dark web? Now that I have about 1,250,000 readers per day...

LONDON CALLING TO THE FARAWAY TOWNS

 "Now war is declared and battle come down..."

Can you image THE CLASH doing a live show today where everyone is wearing a mask and glove rubbers while practicing social distancing style sexual abstinence?

Good luck with that one. 

No wonder that FUCKING PRESIDENT FOR LIFE DONAL TRUMP is even going to win New Jersey in 2020.

They don't call it the garden state for nothing.

Gregory Scott Relf's 

TWO WITNESSES NEWSLETTER?

PS CHAD HARKOM: Now Brad Pitt will have to pay me to be in one of my movies, not the other way around. 

Union scale with double per diem of course of course. "The artists have to eat too..." Michael Jackson, 1986.

BIBLE CAMP NOTES: That ram in DANIEL who has two horns, one bigger than the other, represents the two ensign tribes of Israel; Ephraim being more numerous than Judah.

PS KIT WINN: Usually most union scale productions will go for about $1000 per day to get their legal permission slip rights to shoot on someone's private property. 

So you might as well spend the extra cash now to level off your back lot RV camp site and pave it over, instead of just graveling it off with no water or sewer hook ups.

Same thing goes for you too Eric Jaderholm.

PS MEL GIBSON: I plan on converting David Letterman's Montana dude ranch into my own private landing strip for today's underaged jet set girls right after the shit happens in 22.

Think EVEN COWGIRLS GET THE BLUES meets MY OWN PRIVATE IDAHO.